Brave, brave heroes! Welcome to Gain HP - A Fitness Adventure! I am MadHatter, your Game Master.
Gain HP is a game you play in real life to do exactly that – Gain "Hit Points," or "Health Points," if you prefer. Just like any other role playing game, the more HP you have, the more life you have! You may get healthier, but I am going to put you and anyone else in your adventuring party through some challenging tests to get that result!
What you need to play Gain HP - A Fitness Adventure:
A desire to have a better weight, feel great, and just be a healthier human being in general
Access to a weight scale to check your progress
A D20 (20-sided die) from your local comic and gaming shop (or, as an alternative, a dice rolling mobile app). This is optional and only if you can't quit your worst habits "cold turkey"
Player’s Quick Start Guide
First up, you must teach your character in the wise techniques of fighting, foraging, resting, and tonic use by reading all of the Mystical Tomes (also known as this “Player's Guide“).
Then you will need to pick your character's class (Fighter, Monk, Bard, or Shaman) in order to guideline the goals of your fitness journey.
Now that your character has been created, you are ready to start your campaign! A standard Gain HP campaign lasts 3 months. During those three months, you will use the wisdom you gained in the Mystical Tomes to get fit by battling wicked creatures, gathering smart intakes of sustenance from the forest, resting at the inn for a proper amount each night, and quaffing magical tonics when needed. During your adventure, your goal is to achieve a better weight through these activities and gather enough strength to slay the most treacherous beast in the kingdom: An ancient, unrelenting dragon known throughout the land only by its sinister nickname: “Selfwortless.”
It's a dragon. Named "Selfworthless." Do YOU think it's gonna be friendly?
Your character starts at level 1. With every pound you change towards your weight goal, you gain 10XP, or eXperience Points. Every time you pass 10XP, you level up! In other words, if your weight slides 20 pounds in the right direction, that’s 200XP, which would now make your character level 20! Make sense? At the end of the campaign, you will destroy Selfworthless and you can proudly take in your final level and total XP gained, as well as run through the town square, maniacally shouting with glee.
But that’s not all, fair wanderer! There are also other ways to gain bonus XP! You can receive this by:
Humoring the town soothsayer (getting your blood pressure taken) - 10XP bonus for each reading, a max of once per week (you can use a public machine, but it's safer and more accurate to get a home unit)
Sparring with the town warlord (taking a professional fitness class) - 20XP bonus for doing the class daily (for at least five out of the 7 days). This XP can be claimed a max of once per week (these can be either in person, online, via pre-recorded videos, or as found in games such as Just Dance's fitness playlists)
Visiting the town healer (seeing your doctor for a complete check-up, including blood work) gets you a 100XP bonus for each result, a max of once per campaign
Want to level your character up even higher? Don’t just stop at three months! Partake in another quest and start a campaign directly afterwards to keep working on your achievements and raise your stats all the way up to the max level (Level 99)! However, if you take a break in between campaigns that is longer than a full week, you must start over at level 1 again.
Will you quit cold turkey, or will
you edge into the Journey?
Quitting your worst habits and gaining good ones is pretty tough on some people if they do it “cold turkey,” or instantly without easing into it. It all boils down to how in control of your willpower you are (or will be!). Quitting cold turkey will hopefully help you reject more temptations to keep your body's status quo, and starts paying off immediately. I understand that's not for everyone, though. If you think you won’t be able to handle that and instead need to ramp up slowly to the challenge of this campaign, then that is when your D20 rolls come in.
Your character has a “threshold.” This means that, when you roll the D20, you’re going to get a result that’s either under or above your threshold. Every character starts with a threshold of 13. As an example, let’s say that you are attempting to eat a 6 piece fried chicken meal or something else that is only going to set you back on your adventure. You must now perform a “saving roll,” which means you’re hoping for a number that is your threshold or less. Let me better illustrate the process:
"You enter a dark room with a pedestal in the middle of it, a single ray of moonlight through the broken ceiling shining down on the pedestal's lone item - a scrumptious Little Debbie Devil’s Food Cake from beyond the void. Your mind sparks, your eyes widen, and you immediately want to shove it into your mouth."
Pull out your die (or open your dice app). Roll it! If you rolled a 13 or less, you did not save yourself, your threshold has been broken, and your character can continue on and devour the demonic pastry. If you rolled a 14 or more, awesome job! You are saved - Your threshold remains strong and you decide not to chow down on that snack cake o’ desire. Make sense?
Well, that's just beginner's luck. For every day you play Gain HP, your character becomes stronger. In this case, your threshold decreases by 1 point every day. For example, on day 3 of your campaign, your threshold will now be 10, meaning that everything you roll higher will result in saving yourself against your impulsive judgement. By day 13, your threshold will only be broken if you roll a 1. By this time, your character will be very strong and should hopefully not desire items that cause so much setback.
Well, then - Here is your special D20 rolling rules for those of you who need to ease into their journey rather than push ahead through the storm:
The evil wizard Count DeMotivato is about to cast a wicked spell in your FACE!
The “I Couldn’t Quit Cold Turkey”
Dice Rolling Guide
Want to eat a delicious, but absurdly unhealthy snack?
"You reach for the tainted morsel, but the evil wizard Count DeMotivato appears. He has cast a dark spell on you called “Energy Drain.” You must make a saving roll against this spell. If you roll a number lower than your current threshold, the wizard has hit you with the spell, and you will now be stripped of your energy after consuming the cursed snack. However, if you roll a number higher than your current threshold, congratulations! "You have dodged his sorcery and skip on the food, which you now realized was bewitched." Count DeMotivato can not attack you with Energy Drain again for two hours, which means you also should not consider eating an unhealthy snack until that time is up, where you must roll to save again (if you haven’t already stopped eyeing horrible treats by now).
Want to gulp down a buzz-filled, but unhealthy alcoholic beverage?
"You reach for the goblet of grog, but the evil wizard Count DeMotivato appears. He has cast a sinister spell on you called “Doofus.” You must make a saving roll against this spell. If you roll a number lower than your current threshold, the wizard has hit you with the spell, and you are now slowed in your thoughts and reaction time because you have chugged the tainted beverage. However, if you roll a number higher than your current threshold, congratulations! "You have ducked his magic and you refuse the alcohol, noticing now that it was actually poison in disguise!" Count DeMotivato can not attack you with Doofus again for four hours, which means you also should not consider drinking an alcoholic beverage until that time is up, where you must roll to save again (if you haven’t stopped looking for those bottles and cans by now).
Did you skip a day of exercise without an official medical reason?
"You decide to sit there on a nearby stump while the rest of your adventuring party fights off hordes of vile creatures by themselves. The evil wizard Count DeMotivato appears. He has cast an ungodly spell on you called “Death’s Embrace.” You must make a saving roll against this spell. If you roll a number lower than your current threshold, the wizard has hit you with the spell, and you have died a short (but positively agonizing) death. You have lost the game, and if you wish to play again, you must start back over at level 1. However, if you roll a number higher than your current threshold, congratulations! "You have overcome his mystic power and you live to fight another day." Count DeMotivato can not attack you with Death’s Embrace again unless you miss another day’s exercise without a medical reason, in which you must roll to save again (if you haven’t stopped being a slacker by now).
So, how do I start officially playing?
Check the Discord link in the menu above to find the official Gain HP Discord room, or check the Facebook or Twitter accounts for all the deets. You'll basically want to get this information to me on those channels by Monday, January 25th:
Your name or character name that you don't mind people seeing publicly (a spreadsheet for progress)
Your current weight
Whether you are die rolling or quitting cold turkey
A battle cry
In the future, you will weigh in and submit that number to me every Monday following until the campaign ends.
A final note to all adventurers in the realm
Now that you understand how this all works, it’s time to play! Whether you decide to go the cold turkey route and instantly start winning the fight, or whether you choose to roll the die and throw a little gamble into it, good luck! You are all heroes in my book for even setting foot in the dungeon. March ahead, and I hope to see you return to your village in far better shape and with more pride than when you set off! Slay the hideous beast known as Selfworthless, and return with your tales of glory!